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Funny Bios Deck - Star Trek: The Next Generation
  

 
  Star Trek character biography of Jean-Luc Picard. A funny description of the Captain from The Next Generation TV series.
  Most of the character names have been changed to protect the innocent, us. If you need help with the changes you can view the Glossary HERE!

 

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Star Trek Fun Bio for Captain Jean-Luc Dikhard
Star Trek: TNG (The Next Generation) - Captain Jean-Luc Picard
  
Home region:
The Province of Tongueincheeck, France, Earth
Education:
Starfeel Academy, Class clown, a real hard case
Marital status:
Never married, but stuck his proboscis in other people's business countless times.

  Jean Luc Dikhard was born to More'ice and You'bet Dikhard. He had one brother called Rubbit. Jean Luc Dikhards' early years were spent in the hard surroundings of  his family's Bordello, in France, but at a young age he sought a life among the porn stars. He joined Starfeel at the age of  18, and chose life in Starfeel over a career in erectology, but his love of jism cultures has given him a special insight during his many years as captain.

  One of  the defining moments in Dikhard's life was the day when he lost his natural hardon in a fight with a Nautyfan over a game of con' dom-joust. The injury left Dikhard close to limp, but thanks to medical technology, he was given a cybergenital implant. He was fitted with a prosthetic hardon that has to be periodically replaced. Here is a quote from Dikhard about his youth 'There were many things in my youth I'm not proud of , mostly shrinkage."

  Dikhard's first command was the USS Porngazer, he took command after the captain was killed during an anal probe. Dikhard served aboard the Porngazer for many years, developing his hand to uh, hand skills as he leads get-away teams and handles conflicts with the Lardassians and Rearendi.

  He was also the first Starfeel captain to encounter the Bored. He gets a chance to experience them at close hand when he is humiliated into the Bored State. The physical scars were removed from Dikhard, but the follow up vaccinations still remain. Dikhard believes that an officers size is more important than the orders he or she is given, and has consistently refused to obey the impulses he considers moral. One example of this is when he joins the attack on the Bored State against Orders and manages to save Earth from total Boredom.

 
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